Spiritual Growth

I was walking with Laura one day and we have a talk about how we are
different from the pass. It is my third year being Catholic, and I
look back I know I am different. I remember the first two years is not
that fun being Catholic. I would only go Church once a week on Sunday;
I might even skip Sunday Mass too. I don't know what change, but now I
go Church at least two three time a week. I also do morning and
evening prayer daily. It is so weird to see the changes. In Church
teaching, it said you are the new you after baptism, because the Holy
Spirit will dwell in you and will guide you to the Truth.

I sad very often, because being a Catholic is difficult. I don't grow
up in a family with Catholic teaching. A lot of time I will still do
thing which I know it is not right. I am kind of a secularism, and
secularism never work well with Catholic teaching. Then, I will hate
to go to confession. In the Scripture it said: do not surprise that
the world against you, because the world do not recognize Christ.

That is frustrating. The circumstance always appear to you that you
don't really have much opinions and there is a choice is easier and
there is one a harder one, by choosing the easier one which you might
commit small sins, and that always make you think that isn't a big
matter. I don't enjoy doing bad thing, but I always fall to that, or
I don't really want to face the difficult one. It make the uneasy
feeling every time. St. Paul said: You no longer live as you, but
Christ live in you. But, a lot of time we choose to turn our face away
from God. One priest said: We don't need knowing, but believing. I
don't really know what to do beside pray for myself and go confession.