Why bad things happen to good people?

Today, I remember I once read an analogy, I don't remember how it
wrote; something like:

If God is good, why evil exist.
If God do care about what is good, why bad thing happen
If God do not care about what is good, then God is bad
If God is bad, that is why bad exist

I remember it, like a scar. Before reading that, I was already upset,
very emotional, because I found out that a person I like very much had
died badly.
I meant what good for us to make ourselves good and religious if we
being a good person still have to suffer random bad consequence in life.
It was very discouraging. It made you unmotivated.
I couldn't explain it. I felt shit.

Do you remember my friend, Rachel? She has a sad story about her
cousin. I quoted some verses for her

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says
the Lord" (Is 55.8).
"He had made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
"For what man can learn the counsel of God? Or who can discern what
the Lord wills?" (Wisdom 9:13).
For God is justice, he tests both Holy and wicked. (In Psalm somewhere)
"But the righteous man, though he die early, will be at rest." (Wisdom
4: 7)
"But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment
will ever touch them." (Wisdom 3:1)
" In the days when He was in the flesh, He offered prayers and
supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to
save Him from death..., Son though He was He learned obedience from
what He suffered; and when He was made perfect, He became the source
of eternal salvation for all who obey Him, declared by God high priest
according to the order of Melchizedek" (Letter to the Hebrews)
"all things consist in Him" (St. Paul)

I think it is okay for us have the emotion. We are human; we have our
perspective; we want things go the way we want. But again, "For what
man can learn the counsel of God? Or who can discern what the Lord
wills?" (Wisdom 9:13); and "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are
your ways My ways, says the Lord" (Is 55.8).

I read couple verses today, it go well to the topic today. "And as
Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his
disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his
parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man
sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made
manifest in him." (Gospel John 9 1-3)

Later to the chapter, we know this blind had been begger for this
life. He lived his life as the lowest social class in his society.
Additionally, that period, the way people think is that he is either
a sinner or his parents are sinners. He must had been treated
disrespectfully. He must felt sad, life was difficult, and unfair.

Although, now, we have the knowledge about why bad things happen on
earth, will continue have the conflict among God's work on earth, our
faith, and our emotion. We need to have faith in our religious when
bad thing happen and comfort others when bad things happened to them.

Does this make you want to play Final Fantasy VIII again?

Fastest 5K I ever run

26 mins was the time. 5K is equal to 12.5 laps, which mean
approximately 2 mins for every laps. Woo... It sounds very cool.

Sadness of Busyness

Rachel, an important friend of mine, told me Monday that her first
cousin's wife has died in accident by a drunk driver. Her cousin, now,
is also in hospital. It is pretty sad. But, it is not the saddest
thing. The saddest thing is that they got married only a few weeks
ago. They both very young, 26 and 30 ish. They had the funnel at the
same church they got married. When she told me, she got emotional. I
felt so bad for her. I am not very good at comforting people, so I
told her that that is good she had to study so she don't need to think
about it.

After, I am regretted what I have said. Instead of in school, she
should be at home, in hospital with her cousin. It is a sad thing, and
it should be sad for. You, and I, have trap into our culture, our
works. (We don't know about it.) We have forgotten to sad for other.
Our feeling and humanity has lost connection somewhere when we grew
up. The humanity is too busy for other thing. We need to re-arouse our
true self, because I can tell you if you lose yourself you forgot how
to be happy. And again, you have not realized how much happiness you
have missed in your life.

I am doing a week of Rosary for my friend, her family, and her cousin.
Join me this week to pray for my friend.

Large Scale Mafia Game

I believe most people know the game Mafia. I found this game playing in one of the dormitory in my school and am very amused by that. We should do this together sometime.

Weston Bend State Park

Weekend Bonus: Starcraft II FFA Epic

This is pro level game. It is long, but a lot of fun.

Competitive slacker

Today, I read my running magazine.
They said you are a slacker if you find yourselves:

1. You perform better on training runs than in races.
2. Your running routine is too routine.
3. You avoid challenges like group speed workouts and races.

I couldn't stop laughing and so grad that I am not a competitive
slacker.

iPad Disappointment

I am one of the apple computer fans.

But, in term of Apple ipad, it is disappointing.

When I mean disappoint, I don't mean it isn't a good product.

The way it disappointed me is that they went through all the trouble to enlarge a itouch and call it ipad.

Can't they just make the ipad run OS (Operation System)

Whatever the software running in ipad vs Apple OS, it not even 1/4 useful as the OS.

I see people went through all the trouble to jailbreak it, then it still not allowing you to do half the stuff in OS.

(Such as, important one, get into youtube and hijack video, save screen as pdf formate, turn a dvd to video formate)

I am not going to buy a ipad, but I wouldn't mind have one for free.

Where is my ipad sugar daddy?

The last comparison, ipad or Air Mac? Air Mac for me.

(they just have a new Air Mac)

Do you agree with me?

American Breakfast

This is what you would get from a typical restaurant for breakfast on the morning.
This thing probably have about 800 calories on it.
Fat...fat...fat...
But, I ate all of them in once. Yum...
Fantastic late night.
Frustration....food....frustration...food.
Oh yeah, baby, come to daddy.

I always do this when I am stress or try to think about stuffs very hard.

I make my hair massy when I try to think about stuffs.

Normally, I put my hand on the head and start "dry" washing my hairs.
I didn't know I was taken a picture by Caman, a friend, when I did that.
She knew I was going to "dry" wash my hair.
It is funny.
I know I do that, but it is nice to see a picture of myself.

Jerry again

Hi Reader,

I am so busy lately. I am going to post as much picture possible to make time for myself. Things now I need to get done included: finding jobs, finding house to stay, paying my drive tag, writing final paper, writing cover letter, studying exam, deciding my fall break [in 3 days, I still haven't plan it yet :( ], packing...

N 2nd St

N N 2nd St. 2

My life update

Fall break is in one week, I, been busying about school work, personal
works, job hunting, exam study, etc, forgot to plan for anything . (I
probably will do nothing and stay in Atchison.)

There are couple books I would like to own, but I am holding myself
back.

Since the weather has become cold again, I started running outdoor
again. (I will post pictures soon)

I started to make myself more industrious daily. (How it go I will
post soon.)

I got a feeling that it is destiny that I will stay in America even
when I don't have a job yet. (Story will post soon.)

What brought to me after the memory test. I realize why I feel so
depress and hungry all the time lately. I am a future oriented person.
Now, it feel like I was trap in a maze; sometime it feels like false
hope try to tell you that you will be okay. The thing is that I am not
okay. I am not finding myself a job. I don't understand the job market
in America. If I can't understand that market, I can't promote myself.
There are no plans could be made until I have a job, where I will end
up to, what kind of life style I need to adjust.

Life without video game

I have been giving up video game for a month. Like yesterday, after a
long exam, it felt I deserve to do something fun. However, it is not
always that you can get people to do stuff with you; it was at least
10 o'clock in the evening after a three and half hour test. Single
Asian, quiet night, video game do make a good match. In the end, I sat
in my room doing "nothing". I wonder in my house try to find sometime
to entertain me. Of course, I found nothing like that.

I want to make my woman readers easier to understand here, so the
following I write this way. A good video game is like a good movie,
like Titanic (personally, I don't like it very much), you are so
fascinated about it. Even it is finished, you want to watch it again.
Do you remember when it first came out (titanic), people watch it 20
times in the theater. It's definitely that those people are being
unproductive. However, for me, the desire I want to do something fun
make me wonder my house like if I wonder my house 20 times I would
find something to entertain me. ( I did wonder my house 3-4 times like
that,) I am playing no video game, but it doesn't mean I am doing
something greater.

I love video game since very young. I know that video game make people
live in the moment and ignore the future, but I still not up to that
video game is the evil thing exist in the world. I have to continue
this giving up video game experiment on myself, so I could make a
conclusion later.

Memory Test - BBC

I took a very good memory test lately. The test is quit difficult.

It ain't like some old memory exam put it out and retest again.

You should take that.

Please do not cheat, such as using paper and pens / print screen.

The result below is my first take result and is based on plain memorization.

If you don't mind, I would enjoy knowing your result.

I am really proud of my working memory capacity, I scored full point on that section.

The only thing it doesn't indicate to you is how much time I use to memory them. (but ain't like I took forever to move on)

That tell me if I want to remember something I could, it just I don't spend the time for it most of the time.

And it told me the way I think.

I will use my memory to remember something important, such as pay bill, rent, my next date date, my best friends' birthday, etc

But, I can rarely recall what conversation I had with my date, which is bad.

They have several random versions. It's not you are going to have exactly the same test as me.

At least, it would be similar.

It would take you about 20 minus.

My advise is to do your first test on your best condition, such as on the morning, quiet place, and you ain't feel sleepy.

I took the test in library, there were two librarians try to distract me separately for a minute when I was trying very hard to memorize something

Try it yourself.

You can send me your result to vincentson1(at)gmail/dot/com

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/memory/

Online Friends and Offline Friends

When I became Catholic, I made an unwritten commitment that I will
become an authentic Catholic. The most difficult thing for me right
now is being 24 and have no much working experience. It is not that
difficult to recognize that I have no money. Now, you know. My
personal loan plus my visa statue that allow me work no where in
America bring me to nowhere. It ain't like a secret that can't be
shared.

The difficult part for me is knowing that people are very easily to be
influenced and manipulated, but I do nothing to take advantage for
that. I could spend money to make a trip travel with friends for fun,
go to bar every week to drink with people, or take people out for
lunch or dinner to make them feel good about me. I am doing the hard
way. What I value the most is if a friend value what I am. I am a
foreign student who suck about English, have no money, and poor at
understanding about American culture.

The American way of defining friendship is laughable. Seeing people on
the street, say hi, knowing their name and have a chitchat are
considerable as a friend. How ridiculous. They can refer a friend like
that for four five years but knowing nothing about that people. (And,
most of them don't even know how to use the word aquitence,) My
social life in America is bad. Honestly, I see myself have no future
in America. By the age like mine, my only long term assets/investment
in America is that kind of superficial networking, what do you think?

I look at the traffic of my blog. 50% people go to my blog is through
Facebook. Most of them interact with my blog is to look at my
pictures. That mean, most of the stuff I wrote people don't even care.
Then, I have failed to myself. My purpose of building the blog is to
keep connection with friends and share insight to people that how a
different people could have different thinking patent.

Here, I really need to thank my friend, Ciska, who have been my best
blog follower, who have given hope to me to write more. I will
continuously to find way to improve the blog until the reason I build
my blog for.

Smile

I read an article Wednesday. It try to connivence its reader to simile
even it is fake, because people can't really tell if a person smile is
authentic or not. There is a test you could take it online, but I am
not recommending I am not posting the link here.

The test shows you 20 video short clips, about 2-10 sec each one, then
you have to vote if the person smile is real or not. The result show
me I got more wrong than right. If the test is correct, why I don't
want you to take that. It is because 20 video clips is not good sample
sizes, the more later clip I watch more right I got. Your brain
subconscious process information much better than your conscious. I
believe if a person smile truly or not in real situation I can tell.
And, it is wrong reason to smile anyway just because people can't tell.

If you think smile important to you and other people, I encourage you
do; if you don't, you don't need to make yourselves to do something
more less than you are. I try it every year for Lent, I fail to that
commitment every year.

Oh... I change my mind. I see what you think: Vincent is stupid that
why he can't tell. I was pretty optimistic before the test, but I fail
miserably. The link is:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/

Principle or Necessary - How much do chopstick mean to me

My friend Ka Man, a new Hong-Kongee from my school, came to my home
late one night, and she was hungry. I found some instant Chinese
noodle from my cabinet and cooked for her. I hanged to her the noodle.
And, she asked me for chopsticks. I said: well, there is no such thing
called chopstick in my house. It is so funny, because if she have
never come to my home, I would never realize that I have use no chop
stick in my life for five years. (except the time I was home)

Honestly, I could have got myself a pair of chopstick, but it is not
necessary. The most important thing I concern is to have the food put
into my mouth. So, I choose fork and spoon. From many ways, chopstick
is just not the tool that would do the purpose. Ain't like I choose
American over my Hong Kong culture. The fact is I prefer laziness over
my own culture. It's not that I have to market myself the Asian who
eat Chinese noodle with chopstick. It would be cool if I go anywhere
in the world, I prepare my own chopsticks.

Update: 101 List

1. Have a 1 on 1 dinner with a girl
2. Take a girl for a walk
3. Run in a raining day ( After I send a message to an editor, when will I be safe to run)
4. Drink a bottle of wine by myself (Too much, but i love it)
5. Maintain my blog at least a year (6 months left)
6. Create 3 more pages (2/3)
7. Reread 3 books (Target books: The Fraternity of Communion and liberation)
8. Learn at least 10 gospel songs
9. Go to an opera (Carman)
10. Go to a theme park (Disneyland with Bill)
11. Join a volunteer group (Hunger Coalition)
12. Join a group/club (Country and Social Dance Club)
13. Write a year resolution (Scheduled 12/26/2010)
14. Ride a horse ( I can't) (I just hate animals generally)
15. Go fishing (WTF? You need a fishing license to fish, violate human right)
16. Get a girlfriend (I am not finding any girl I like, at least I tried but was rejected)
17. Make a photo book for my photography (In process, have 20 pages already)
18. Buy an iPad (if you can donate it to me) (Where are you my lover?)

Existence of God

Somehow I was very happy that I am Catholic today. I remember the
first class of theology 101 from college the first lesson they try to
tell us the eternal being from beginning by saying if beginning is
nothing it will create nothing however if beginning there is being it
will create everything. So, it is yes. Yes, it is confusing and funny.

Many religious believers and their faith relationship is bonded by if
I pray for something I will give back a certain favor to god. What
happen if what they hope for didn't happen for them? Then, there is no
bond between them. For many people, their conception is if there is
God it will hear our pray if there is no God our pray will go to
ashes. "What a great human understanding!" So, we can have CONTROL of
God.

Now, I understand why in Bible it use the Truth, the Word sometime as
a pronoun of God. God's existence is not defined by if life is good
then there is God and if life is suck then there is no God. God will
continuously exist whether you have a bad life or not.

Opera 2 - Carman

Opera 1 - Carman

We had 15 mins. to finish the pizza.

I miss band.

The entrance.